1. And With Silence Comes The Fear

Opened my eyes – where am I?
Should be still at home, I fear they lied

Had to give you away
The pain is much too strong
You will find me one day
I hope I was not wrong

Where's my dad and where are my toys?
This terrifying silence makes me fear

You are so different
Could not live alone
With all the time we spend
Think you need a new home

I don't care I don't care
I turn around and see no one
I don't know I don't know
Is anybody calling me?
I don't see I don't see
No, I never ever see you
I don't hear I don't hear
I never ever listen to you

Looking for my wheel chair, gotta move
Cannot play with the same toys, I need a proof

You and me, we are determined to suffer
I always told you
Life's a burden with no love and no hope
Can't feel anything and lonely you will be

Many things and they all bother me
I only need that toy beside me here

I tried my best
Now I'm sick and tired
This pain remains
Please forgive me

I feel that somewhere someone suffers
Someone made for you?
Together we might end it, end it

I don't care I don't care
I turn around and see no one
I don't know I don't know
Is anybody calling me?
I don't see I don't see
No, I never ever see you
I don't hear I don't hear
I never ever listen to you

2. Waiting For A Sign

Please go away from me, leave me alone
This place is not my home
My chair is broken, my daddy makes it right
I wish he'd be by my side

My mom already left us that day I had this accident
My daddy swore that he won't do the same
Now I'm all alone and I'm waiting here for him
Those people here will never understand

And still I'm waiting for a sign to come
The pain and sorrow won't go away
No, please don't leave me all alone in this world
I'm waiting for a sign to change my life

No one ever knows it's like to be me
No one ever feels the ache that I feel
Did I scream too much?
Was it too much work?
Am I forgotten?

And still I'm waiting for a sign to come
The pain and sorrow won't go away
No, please don't leave me all alone in this world
I'm waiting for a sign to change my life

3. My Memories

See me, feel me
I am here for you
Still you don't see me, don't hear me
Though I am there for you

No, I do not care
And I do not see you
No one ever has been there for me
I just had my toy
It was always beside me
And loneliness I got used to

You always said we'd have to suffer
And I never knew what you meant
I always noticed your changes
As mom left you and me

I could cry, I could scream
I want my memories back
Those memories you can't remember
There must have been a time
Where everything has been alright
Why aren't there any memories left?

I see you suffer
Though you do not know my name
So strange I seem to be invisible for you
Please perceive someone willing to help

No, I do not care and I do not know
Anything good in my life
Why did you say we have to suffer?
Oh Daddy, please make it right

This chapter is over
And what is now to come?
Somehow I feel a fear inside myself
Something is going on

I could cry, I could scream
I want my memories back
Those memories I can't remember
There must have been a time
Where everything has been alright
Why aren't there any memories left?

I see your misery and I feel compassion
I'd like to know what hells you go through
I want to touch your face
I'd like to feel the pain that you feel

4. Innocence Killed

No one will know the pain I feel
All of my wounds they never will heal
I'm just a child whose youth has been killed
I am a slave to nightmares and fear

I went to school that day again like any days before in my life since then
I tried to learn, to help myself, to listen carefully what they say
The bell has rang, looking forward to go then, could have found some new birds singing
Instead of that I have met you – the black men, the shadows, the devil

And in my dreams I still see the dark so clear
And every night I try to sleep with fear
Your icecold hands and your whiskeysmelling breath
Those touching hands they have felt to me like death

Pain and hate – it all feels the same to me
This was my youth you destroyed
Sorrow or joy – I never live my life again
This was my innocence you killed

You brought me here and destroyed my peace
To this place that I see every night in my dreams
You heard my cries, you enjoyed them well
For this night I had to be your slave
You hid your face, I never saw
I never will and I'd never want to see it
You let me go after raping me for that
I lost everything I once called life

Pain and hate – it all feels the same to me
This was my youth you destroyed
Sorrow or joy – I never live my life again
This was my innocence you killed

5. End This Nightmare

Those wounds inside me
They hurt so deep, I can't tell
Where is the love? Where is compassion?
I never knew

I cut myself again, to feel I'm still alive
I do not see my blood, I feel a different pain

Where is the savior in the night?
Where are these arms to hold me tight?
To end this fucking nightmare
Where are those feelings I have lost?
Where are those eyes that I can trust?
To end this haunting nightmare

Don't know the beginning
How it came to all this
But I seem to know the ending
This chapter is over

Can't you see that I'm alone?
And I lived through much pain in my life
Too much for one soul to take
Pain... just pain!

Where is the savior in the night?
Where are these arms to hold me tight?
To end this fucking nightmare
Where are those feelings I have lost?
Where are those eyes that I can trust?
To end this haunting nightmare

6. No Hope For The Healing

Somewhere at this frozen lake
It happened and it was no fake
The forest has witnessed the crime
Alone you've been and so am I

I feel what you have felt
I know what you have known

I look through your eyes now
I feel the pain that you felt

Alone in the night where the silence is tangible
They brought you here
With no sign and no hope left
Then they spread your legs, it cannot be undone
Didn't care that you cried
Just the forest has listened

Don't scream, don't cry
My face is the last thing you see before you die

What it takes to destroy a human heart
It's a simple plan with no love and no regret
No hope for the healing
You won't see compassion in my eyes
Cause I know what you feel, I felt it all before
No hope for a savior

Going back to this place where the trees are crying
Some blood is still there
And the source of sorrow
I am touching the ground the smell of death around
I imagine you
And can't hold back the tears

Don't scream, don't cry
My face is the last thing you see before you die

What it takes to destroy a human heart
It's a simple plan with no love and no regret
No hope for the healing
You won't see compassion in my eyes
Cause I know what you feel, I felt it all before
No hope for a savior

I scream for vengeance
I save all my anger for you
I destroy you as you have
Destroyed her before

And so it goes on and on
Hate is producing hate

There is no chance
No, you can't break the circle
The circle of pain and hate
This will go on, on and on

What it takes to destroy a human heart
It's a simple plan with no love and no regret
No hope for the healing
You won't see compassion in my eyes
Cause I know what you feel, I felt it all before
No hope for a savior

7. Rising Angel

Loneliness haunting me and no one will heal me
Dreaming of someone that I still do not know
My life cut in pieces and no one around me
See you in heaven if this place exists

Waiting for my time to come
I have touched your face in your darkest hour

The fear of being alone is the key for my weakness
I try to live without it but can't face my life

I will come for you
I will be with you to make you see

You are my rising angel
But I never got my wings to fly
You will protect my world now
But I never learned to dream your dreams
You will change the world for me
No, I never ever even changed myself
You will be my rising angel
No one ever taught me how to fly

Still on my own still I'm all alone –
Feel my heart pounding
Might see you every day
But still I do not know what's your face like
Love is not a gift, it seems to be a curse –
Still I don't know the meaning
Somewhere there is someone
That understands the same – find me, please find me

When I touched your face that day
I have seen your misery and your pain

You are my rising angel
But I never got my wings to fly
You will protect my world now
But I never learned to dream your dreams
You will change the world for me
No, I never ever even changed myself
You will be my rising angel
No one ever taught me how to fly

Please take this chance –
It's more than a short romance
You changed my life
Though you don't even know

You are my rising angel
But I never got my wings to fly
You will protect my world now
But I never learned to dream your dreams
You will change the world for me
No, I never ever even changed myself
You will be my rising angel
No one ever taught me how to fly

8. Finally

Please try to leave it all behind
There is so much that you will find
Finding my trust is so much harder than it seems

I touched your face. I touched your heart
And 1 knew it from the start
Starting a new life with you, oh with you

This is now the best time of my life
I fear that this cannot last
Deep in my heart I'm afraid you'll hurt me, too

No one, nobody ever trusted me
And needed me like you do now
I told you all the hells I have gone through
And I do not know if you're strong enough

They always say life's a gift, not a burden
We should be grateful for all things we have in life
But take a closer look
Then you will find a different answer
Maybe it's the point that I found love finally

It took some time to convince you
That my love for you is true
True love is something that I never have felt

I do accept the way you are
Though I know there are some scars
Scars of my pain that I have felt all my life

This is now the best time of my life
I fear that this cannot last
Deep in my heart I'm afraid you'll hurt me, too

No one, nobody ever trusted me
And needed me like you do now
I told you all the hells I have gone through
And I do not know if you're strong enough

They always say life's a gift, not a burden
We should be grateful for all things we have in life
But take a closer look
Then you will find a different answer
Maybe it's the point that I found love finally

I would give my life away for you my love
For such a long time I need you
There is still so much for us to come
Look into my eyes
There is no disguise

They always say life's a gift, not a burden
We should be grateful for all things we have in life
But take a closer look
Then you will find a different answer
Maybe it's the point that I found love finally

9. Prayers

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10. Then I Found You

Out in the cold among this faceless little crowd
One light shines for evermore
Just in the time that my world was falling down
My universe starts to live

Life always cancelled every plan that I have made
But now this plan grows and grows
Don't care what you see
Don't care what you might hear
It's all about what you feel inside

I was drowning
Drowning in this river of my pain
But now I my doubts are blown away

There was no reason to live
There was no reason to die
I have been lost and alone but then I found you
Go with me all the way it's so true
My heart is leading the way
There is the chance it will stay
And I know that I won't never ever live in my past
This will rise, this will fall, this will last

Each time you think it can't get worse than it is
From somewhere conies a helping hand
Don't think that much, don't regret, just live your life
From out of nowhere joy arise

I was drowning
Drowning in this river of my pain
But now I never let you go

There was no reason to live
There was no reason to die
I have been lost and alone but then I found you
Go with me all the way it's so true
My heart is leading the way
There is the chance it will stay
And I know that I won't never ever live in my past
This will rise, this will fall, this will last

Just a little touch of heaven
Just a little less pain – it was not in vain

There was no reason to live
There was no reason to die
I have been lost and alone but then I found you
Go with me all the way it's so true
My heart is leading the way
There is the chance it will stay
And I know that I won't never ever live in my past
This will rise, this will fall, this will last

Looking back on this cold day when I found you
Not alone I will go all the way
My heart leads and I will follow
What I discovered then it is simply so pure
This will rise, this will fall, this will last
And I won't never ever live in my past

11. One Last Time

I walk this lonely road
While the rain is pouring down on me
The same rain like this fatal day
I came from the doctor
My first way then like this way now
It leads to you
But this time I won't come up to you
You won't let me in

He said to me that I'd be positive
My blood is filled with this deadly virus
And now our lives go down the drain
I nearly go insane

You were my fortress, you were my life
You left me then with tears in your eyes
And still it cuts just like a knife
To see my love and life, it dies

I picked you up when you were feeling down
No one was beside you
You were left all on your own
I have accepted you the way you've been
So what about our plans? Your father's right!

My life with you – a dream until then
My love has been my savior
Nothing of this dream remains
Please don't leave me

I always believed in what we called forever
In good times and in bad times?
Though it has been short until now
Those were the best days of my life

You were my fortress, you were my life
You left me then with tears in your eyes
And still it cuts like a knife
To see my love and life, it dies

I never prayed but now I pray to you
I never wept but now I cry to you
Don't take the last breath out of me
Don't break what's almost broken
I am so afraid
I have nothing left
Fulfil my last wish
And let me die in your arms

Do you remember our holidays?
When we dreamed of three children
A house at the lake and 2 big dogs?
What is left of this dream?

Still I dream this dream with you
Will you dream this again when I'm gone?

I never betrayed you
I always spoke the truth to you
Had no explanation
It's still my voice that you are hearing
Where is your trust now?
These are still my eyes that you see
They never betrayed you
They never told you lies

I never prayed but now I pray to you
I never wept but now I cry to you
Don't take the last breath out of me
Don't break what's almost broken
I am so afraid
I have nothing left
Fulfil my last wish
And let me die in your arms

If I die I'll die with you
Don't leave me, please don't leave me
I am nothing without you
No, nothing without you
I can't take this pain anymore
I do not want to leave you now, all alone
I die for one last moment of happiness

Fulfil my last wish
And let me die in your arms
I wanna die in your arms
Let me feel your embrace for one last time

12. Dying In Your Arms

There are the last days of your life
This is the silence and the darkness
Forever you and me –
This was everything we could see
We swore at the altar –
We never let each other down

I never break my promise
If you will die I'll die with you

Feel my pain as I lay dying in your arms –
I will never ever let you die alone
The strength in me as growing stronger
With your love –
My heart won't ever let this dream die now

Can't live my life without you
I never ponder I never doubt
But why the hell is this our destiny?

No, my love, I will never leave you alone
I only need your love

Feel my pain as I lay dying in your arms –
I will never ever let you die alone
The strength in me as growing stronger
With your love –
My heart won't ever let this dream die now

13. To Live Is To Suffer

The traffic light in my life
It turned to red
I have been told that I have to suffer
Now it seems he was right

Oh my eyes full of tears
Still hear your voice in my ears

A tragic end of what was right
I feel the pain that you felt
You felt alone but I hope that you always knew
I never lost my faith in you

Oh my eyes full of tears
Still hear your voice in my ears

I am lost without you
I can't find my way
I will drown without you
In this sea of fear

I can't live without you
Your love was my rebirth
My father's words have reached me
Yes, Dad, you were right

I am lost without you
I can't find my way
I will drown without you
In this sea of fear

To live is to suffer!