1. Break
Some say it's better off this way, now it's over
You say the future's looking grey, if it's over:
Yeah, there's sorrow as we break –– but it's over
Yeah, we've had all we could take –– so it's over
Stow away memories of yesterday, to think over
Run away, the truth you can't betray, or pushover:
Yeah, there's silence as we break –-– cause it's over
Yeah, you've made your last mistake –-– so it's over
Words:they hurt, fingers point blame
Look to yourself and do the same
Painful thing to admit
This puzzle piece just won't fit
But we tried, and we pushed so hard 'til something had to give
Still we cried, and I screamed so loud I'm sure you had to hear
Now my fingers bleed and I need some relief
Because my back:it breaks
So I let you down before you fall but still my heart:it aches
Judgement day: the good and bad we weigh, and look over
Cast away your negative display, and start over:
Yeah, there's silence as we break –-– cause it's over
Yeah, you've made your last mistake –-– so it's over
Yeah, there's sorrow as we break –– but it's over
Yeah, we've had all we could take –– so it's over
2. King
Frightened –– trying to decide
Which way do I side
Can't make up my mind this time
Searching –– curiosity's burning
Just what am I learning
From all this wasted time
Waiting in line?
Wrapped up in
What might have been
I just pretend
That luck was seized from me
All alone ( but on the throne )
The King of tragedy
Caught up in what could be
If only God had smiled on me
Another dance with circumstance
For His Majesty
Crying
My bitter tongue denying
A life wasted in trying
To rise from the bed I've made
Where I lay
Screaming
My aching head is reeling
The crown of thorns I'm feeling
Made by my own hands
Do you understand?
Wrapped up in
What might have been
I just pretend
That luck was seized from me
All alone ( but on the throne )
The King of tragedy
Caught up in what could be
If only God had smiled on me
Another dance with circumstance
For His Majesty
Neither her nor there
In between is where I'm found
Holding court with my excuses:
Will the King ever denounce his crown??
Wrapped up in
What might have been
I just pretend
That luck was seized from me
All alone ( but on the throne )
The King of tragedy
Caught up in what could be
If only God had smiled on me
Another dance with circumstance
For His Majesty
3. My Enemy
So safe within this cozy little cell
No risk at all throwing coins into a well
I lust for gold, but shutter at the price
Reward I want, but not the sacrifice
And the target's well with in my sights
But my hands won't release the bow
I've been pulling back on it so long
I've forgotten how to let it go
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on
A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy
I'm frozen by the fast approaching night
A dear that stares into oncoming light
It's time for me to come down from the fence
But either side invites a consequence
Waiting for the door to open wide
Waiting for the stones to find their place
The price it never seems to leave my hands
Intentions never help me in the race
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on
A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy
So I'm safe within my cozy little shell
No risk at all, just wishing to myself
The price of gold, more than I care to spend
But the cost of life is to chance the consequence
And the target's well with in my sights
But my hands won't release the bow
I've been pulling back on it so long
I've forgotten how to let it go
And I know I have the means
But my will is gone
And I fear I won't succeed so I'm holding on
A life passes by, I watch passively
I'm haunted by time, my enemy
I fear that I'm bound, I fear that I'm free
And haunted by time, my enemy
4. Defenseless
Can't fight this urge
I'm overwhelmed with anxiety
It's taking over me
Can't calm my nerves
I just can't seem to stop this calamity
Will it be the death of me?
I'm finding out
There is no doubt I need some help
How can I learn to protect me from myself?
This craving is too strong
Restraint is on the shelf
I just can't be alone with myself too long
Can't stop my trembling hands
I've got the shakes again
Convinced myself the needle's
My best friend
Never been so high
I'm sure if I wanted I could touch the sky
I'm already halfway there
But I'm falling down
Seems my time to fly is running out
Does anybody really care?
I've figured it out
There is no doubt I need some help
Can you try to save me from myself?
This craving is too strong
I've lost all self control
I just can't be alone
With myself anymore
I've nothing left to lose
And nothing stops the pain
But the poison
That I pump through my veins
And my tears they leave a stain
And my heart won't beat the strain
Cause the beast I just can't tame
I've figured it out
There is no doubt I need some help
Can I ever really trust myself?
My craving is so strong
My self-esteem is gone
I must stop
Or I won't be around very long
I won't be around:
Very long:
I won't be around:
5. The Lizard
Don't you know that one day you'll be found out?
Faulty explanations, changing colors –– all breed doubt
:You push your thoughts away from the day when you must pay
When the storm becomes a blizzard, don't play dead like a lizard
Pull it out –– wash it off
With the blade of deception sheathed the wounds can heal
Though you like the darker climes, they shade you from the real
Don't pull it off –– cut it off
A game is fair when the players abide by the rules
You speak with forked tongue and cast yourself the fool
There's something slightly saurian in the structure of your skin
Your conscience is well padded, your reasoning is thin
:So you put your prayers away until the hunt when you're the prey
On the darkest judgement night, the ledger books will be set right
Pull it out –– wash it off
With the blade of deception sheathed the wounds can heal
Though you like the darker climes, they shade you from the real
Don't pull it off –– cut it off
A game is fair when the players abide by the rules
You speak with forked tongue and cast yourself the fool
Watch your tail
You're headed for a tailspin
Approaching danger cuts the water like a shark's fin
6. Surrounded
I feel the walls close around me
Shadows dance before my eyes
I hear the clock tick, it's talking
Telling tales of wasted time
Just need to catch my breath
I've been under too much stress
Trapped –– I've been too long here on the inside
I'm stranded, stuck here on my own
I'm trapped –– A prisoner of my own design
On the brink of sensory overload
When desperation surrounds me naturally I rationalize
But will this calm leave, forsake me with the night apostatize?
Can't help, but hold my breath
Afraid of what comes next:
Trapped –– I've been too long here on the inside
I'm stranded, stuck here on my own
I'm trapped –– A prisoner of my own design
On the brink of sensory overload
Never felt so alone
Anguish hits me like a stone
Who can I blame for engineering my fate
When what I love becomes what I hate?
I'm finally out of breath
Feels like there's nothing left
7. Silence
The words you say:they break me
Conversation takes me to a new low
Can't cope – hide me, false hope – remind me
Say no more, for your words:
They cut me like knives
If there's virtue in silence, say no more
For you melt my heart like ice
With your verbal violence
Spiteful words echo inside me
The flame that once burned has turned cold
No doubt – debated, found out – hate it
Say no more, for your words:
They cut me like knives
If there's virtue in silence, say no more
For you melt my heart like ice
With your verbal violence
You speak, your tongue, a blade unsheathed
Each phrase cuts a bit too deep
Say no more, for your words:
They cut me like knives
If there's virtue in silence, say no more
For you melt my heart like ice
With your verbal violence
Say no more, for your words:
They cut me like knives
If there's mercy in silence, say no more
For you melt my heart like ice
8. In The Dark
Some nights I lie in forced awakeness
My thoughts won't let me go
A sleep like death has claimed the world outside
The silence reshapes my solitude, from a refuge to a prison
Distractionless, nowhere to hide
Aloneness holds the mirror
I see things I just can't work through
Some things you'll never shine any light into
Like how to read what will be, from what has been
Like what's in store for me, and you
I wonder what my life will be, what lies ahead for the people close to me?
How can I make my peace with uncertainty –– in a sea of risk, swim with serenity?
Some nights my thoughts drag me to a cold, cold place: the dark side of mortality
Who will be the next to go –– their light blown out forever, in that merciless finality?
Lives are running novels; at times you read, at times you write
The choice of which to do might keep you awake at night
Should I just accept or act against this pressing moment
Should I run for cover or stand and fight?
I wonder what my life will be, a public failure or success in obscurity?
How can I make my peace with uncertainty –– in a sea of risk, swim with serenity?
I wonder what my life will be, what lies ahead for you and me?
Can I make my peace with uncertainty? I wonder what my life will be:I wonder:
9. My Gavel Hand
Running blind and out of breath
But in the wrong direction
I don't recall or recognize
My own reflection
Locked myself in a cell I can't breach
My key to sovereignty lies just out of reach
Can't set myself free:
Can't seem to keep down my last meal
Can't turn back the hand I deal
Feel like I'm caught in foreign land
Exiled by my gavel hand
A rat in a cage
I'm spinning the wheel
But getting nowhere
The gallows –– my stage
I'm seen by all
Performing to no one
This could have been my finest day
A drug that expends me; the price that I pay
Can't throw it away:
Can't seem to keep down my last meal
Can't turn back the hand I deal
Feel like I'm caught in foreign land
Exiled by my gavel hand
The cage that I'm in is formed
From my own design:
No way out that I can tell
Stay here forever trapped
Inside my own mind:
I know every corner so well
And I fear that when I finally find the will
The atrophy will keep me lying still
But I'm tired of the darkness
And I'm tired of the smell
But I'm torn; I don't know anything else
And I'm tired of the nighttime
And I long for the day
But I'm torn; I don't know another way
Running blind, out of breath
Spinning the wheel
But getting nowhere:
10. The Cross
I am weighed down by this pain
I am blackened by this stain
But I can't complain
We have to choose and deal with the rest
I must meet this challenge
I must pass this test
Have to work with what I've got
Have to walk before I run
No point in always looking back
The past can't be undone
And I have this cross to bear
Can't pretend it isn't there
Trust, once broken, so difficult to repair
Trust me, though
To try and make it there
Life is truth and dare
We have to choose and deal with the rest
In this labyrinth of options
This pitfall ridden quest
Have to work with what I've got
Have to walk before I run
No point in always looking back
The past can't be undone
And I have this cross to bear
Can't pretend it isn't there
The nails are driven in
But not all the way
There's no tragic necessity
Tomorrow can be a better day
So here I sit, alone
Peruse my thoughts, survey my heart
And work to reconstruct
This whole that's splintered into parts
Life is a dare
We have to choose and deal with the rest
I must meet this challenge
I must pass this test
Have to work with what I've got
Have to walk before I run
No point in always looking back
The past can't be undone
And I have this cross to bear
Can't pretend it isn't there:
Yet this pain behind your stare
Shows the depth of how much you care
11. Once A Week
Once a week I spit it out
Monday I receive
Once a week without a doubt
Monday hard to believe
Once a week I give it up
Monday never shows
Once a week I lift it up
Monday down it goes
Struggle between your word my deed
To the latter I always concede
A two legged chair I choose to build
On bread alone I choose to feed
Well then why even with all this bread
Do I buckle from the pain?
It's just sad cause I know what
I need has nothing to do with grain
Still I try, but nothing my hands make
Can ever fill this hole
It's just sad, cause getting what
I need is so rarely my goal
One day I'm stability
The next thing that I know
I'm relearning humility
While chasing every stone and
I start to throw in all directions
Then I see your hand
Scribbling down convictions
Hassles in the sand
Well then why even with all this bread
Do I buckle from the pain?
It's just sad cause I know what
I need has nothing to do with grain
Still I try, but nothing my hands make
Can ever fill this hole
It's just sad, cause getting what
I need is so rarely my goal
Struggle between your word my deed
To the latter I always concede
A two legged chair I choose to build
On bread alone I choose to feed