1. Here's My Hell

Eyes wide open
Still blind to see
Heart wide open
Still too cold to feel

That's all what's left of me
A frozen mind
A shade of who I could be
That's all I can be today

That's all I dare to see
With broken faith
Afraid of what's hurting me
That's all I'll let in today

In silence I cry
For my aching heart

Frozen
Closed down
Demons won't recede
Doubtful
Fearful
I must face them all

Eyes wide open
Do I dare to see?
Heart wide open
Do I dare to feel?

That's all I want to be
A stronger mind
A light that will make me see
That's all I wish for today

That's what will set me free
With renewed strength
I'll deal with my agony
That is my goal for today

Empty I cry
Where is my heart?

With eyes wide shut I smile and fake...

2. Head Up High

Lust, love, lost
You need a mirror to see your true self
Lust, love, lost
I must be frightening to you
I'm your mirror.
Open up to me!

Head up high, my dear
Don't you let me in
You can't hide, my dear
Freezing me
Don't you let me in!

Hurt me now,
your words can never reach
my weakest spot.
Hurt me, why?
I must be frightening to you
I'm your muse now.
Open up to me.

Head up high, my dear
Don't you let me in
You can't hide, my dear
Freezing Me
Don't you let me in!
Open up to me!

3. Sweet Curse

It's a burden for wrong reasons
But I keep hold of this pain
No more tears but common sorrow
Yet it wears of day by day
Letting go; I never could but I surely need to heal
Sweet curse, my hell

You bare our memories like staining scars within your mind
You lose all that you knew of me, gone deep inside
Lost love, my hell

Sweet is the curse of hearts intwined but lost, detached but bound
Sad is their fate without relief
Cruel is the curse of love, so luscious yet so dangerous
Sweet curse, our hell

Words weren't made to tell this story
For I can't describe the ache
No remorse for your betrayal
Yet though I find that hard to take
How can beauty change unseen into a monster, I don't know
Lost love is my hell

Sweet is the curse of hearts intwined but lost, detached but bound
Sad is their fate without relief
Cruel is the curse of love, so luscious yet so dangerous
Sweet curse, our hell

Lost hope and lost dreams
Killing you slowly
New scars and new cravings take control
(New desire, new despair)

Losing you was more than I could bear
Losing us, a dive in water deep
Losing you

4. Million

With one foot still in the past
With the other far ahead
(Million timelines
Million lifetimes)
In-between the times go fast
Chase your life while living it
(Keep track of your life
Live dreams, make them real)

A million words, I drown
In what I really try to say
In what I try to be today
(A million paths to a million choices)
It's an overwhelming prospect
Take a step back, time to reflect
(Keep track of your time, use it well; live your dreams)

A million words and fantasies
A million dreams and fallacies
I now know life goes fast
Hold on and be
This is you so dare to become yourself

With memories like scars
Or beautiful memories
Fighting inner wars
(A million senses a million notions)
The past can hurt and teach
With today within our reach
(And tomorrow's fears to breach)

5. In Sickness 'Till Death Do Us – All Goodbyes Are Said

Patient:
Let me go
Say all your goodbyes
Accept my death (as I did)
Inevitable for all life

Mother:
No! I can't! This comes way too soon!
How can I let go of you now?

Patient:
Goodbye, I'm free now!
Don't grieve! I'm gone, let me go!
My death ment peace to me!

Patient:
Let me go
But keep me alive
Within your heart (memories)
And promise me that I'll remain

Mother:
In my very soul you'll live on,
Even when I let go you're still there
A piece of myself will die with you, but let go, end your pain

Patient:
Feel no grief
Embrace salvation

My pain is gone
While yours goes on (just began)
But live your life (for me too)

Goodbye, I'm free now!
Don't grieve! I'm gone, let me go!
My death ment my peace
When all goodbyes are said
Farewell! This ends here!
Don't mourn. I'm free, let it go!
I found peace in my death

6. Break

It feels like a knife
It feels like bathing in ice
It feels like dying; parts of me just did

And it hurts more than you know
Yes I'm hurt more than I'll show
Feel so harmed and broken, backstabbed and deceived

Didn't I see it falling apart?
Didn't I know it just got too hard?
But didn't we share this passion carved into our hearts?

We didn't know what more to do and saw it all just slip away
But underneath my pain it's pride that still burns
No one can ruin the years we had as one before we went astray
I will not forget!

I've lost the magic we shared
I've lost faith without despair
And I am losing so much more now that this ends

Breaking the chain that's holding you back
Breaking it all due to faith that you lack
I thought we fought all battles, but this can't ever be won

Behind the broken dream lies my heart
Behind my iron will I'm still hurt
Beyond my broken dreams lies my path
(I'm bleeding for the heart the truth has stabbed with frozen faith)
Behind the grand facade I break down
(I'm picking up the pieces of a heart that had blind faith)

I didn't know what more to do and saw it all just slip away
But underneath my pain it's hope that still burns
No one can ruin the years we had as one before we went astray
I'll never forget!

7. In Sickness 'Till Death Do Us, Pt. 2 – Disdain

I need someone to blame!
Feel contempt and betrayed,
I am losing myself, my disdain takes control

Being useless is worst, I can't do shit!

Seeing your pain
It kills me
Losing you now,
I'm provoked
Useless I stand on the side
I would take your pain if I could

Is it God or the world, is there someone to blame?
Is it fate or bad luck, who is failing you now?

Infuriating how I'm forced to remain calm
Disdain!!!

Your pain became like hell to me
Your death; sad way to set you free
Disdained

Aggravation before acceptance
Scorn and hatred; a natural defence
Deepest misery before salvation
Godless suffering before redemption

Now my nightmare's proclaimed
I've found no one to blame
It's a cruel twist of life
Yet my rage can't be bound

Exasperating how trivial we really are

8. In Sickness 'Till Death Do Us, Pt. 3 – Disgraced

My eyes stay shut
My mouth won't speak anymore
Feel, that's all that I do
Hear, all I have left
I pray, if it helps, in my silence; end my pain please

Crawl into my skin
See into my hell (live without a life)

My heart won't love anymore
It beats the time away
Stop, that's all that I ask
Free my tortured body
Slip gracefully into my death, my salvation

Crawl into my skin
See into my hell (live without a life)
My heart won't give in
Machines keep me here (crawl into my pain)
A shade of myself
A human disgrace
Please let me go

Tubes
The sound of machines
They talk about me
More pain, needles sting
I slide away
A white light's piercing my skull,
The nurses wipe my drewl
A day passes by
A perfect one to die

9. Kill Me With Silence

You kill me with silence
Using its peace against me
No soothing words to ease my pain
I'm left with no compromise

Fake promises, empathy, smiles
I'm just a game to play, I lost

You're killing me
Silent strike
Silence bites
You burned all lies,
Ashes feed my revenge

You kill me with my own heart
Using my faith against me
The hard demise struck me
Left me with zilch, doubt and lies

Slay dreams
Kill them; devour my pride
I'm just a pawn to lose, disposable

You're killing me
Silent strike
Silence bites
You burned all lies,
Ashes feed my revenge

10. Fast Forward

Stuck in today
Now I see time as an enemy
I can't be caught in wistful memories
Distance myself

Live in today
Should it be that hard to be like me
Can it be fear to be like someone I do not want to become
And all I see lies ahead

Fast forward today
Dreaming 'bout tomorrow
Past and present as one, can they entwine and color the time to come; my path?

Sick of today
Now I need my time to hurry up
Can it go faster, I am yearning for what's to come

Lost in today
Now I know that time is my enemy
I can't see hope, my course, my journey
It's just crushing me down

And time moves on
Guideless
Catch up with me
Dreams are there today!

Fast forward today
Dreaming 'bout tomorrow
Past and present as one; they are entwined
Fast forward today
Longing for tomorrow
Past and present as one; they are entwined to color the time to come; my path!

11. The Trial Of Monsters

He is a man with no soul
For he must have sold it years ago
Laws don't apply to him anymore

On top of the world, he guides those who will listen or else your death's a fact
With or against him; choose your game, choose his game!

Fall!
The fall of a tyrant, his loss
Soon it breaks him
The trial of this monster. Our fight.
Soon will crack him

Words are binding, deeds talk
Such clear language when your life's at stake
While he's immune for every threat

Battered, disgraced but still strong
Even violence won't break all of us
And even gods get what they gave; they'll have it all!

And we see a proud man fall
Victim's triumph
Burn it all; every memory he turned black
Every ally turned against
He, the man who reigned them all
Prove his guilt, confirm his fall
Innocent till proven wrong
End this nightmare, hear my song, hear our cry!

12. Under My Skin

Once upon a time I was strong enough, I was me...
Once upon a time is long ago
Some things start the easy way; it feels good, no more to say
Some things hide so much behind that ease

You ask for more
You're under my skin
You push, I'm floored
This is a fight I'll never win
You bring me down
You're under my skin
Don't break me, no!

Some things change while I remain quite the same; doomed to linger
Some things change for better or for worse
Once upon a time comes back; I will too, I'll stand stronger
Once upon a time's a fairytale...

Once upon a time's today, I stand up, I'll stand strong now
Once upon a time's for yesterday
Some things end without a choice; it's not your call, no reprisal
Some things end too late for you to choose

13. I Lost Myself

Why is it hard to know this heart?
Estranged from who I am
And who, who was I before I lost myself?

And I try to; I desire to know who I am
And I fight to; find it though to be myself

And all those words I didn't say
The dreams I had or have today
And pain I feared and faced and went away
The things I've done
The games I played
Made me to what I am

Why it is hard to know my goals?
Estranged from what I want
I know I was strong before I lost myself

See my true colours
Feel my true heart
The one I lost

This is my face
These are my eyes
My world, my life!

And all things I didn't do
The dreams I had or have today
And pain I feared and faced; they went astray
The words I said
The smiles I faked
This is who I am and always be