1. Pussywhipped

Hey! You said the boys were gonna hang tonight
The guys are here but you ain't anywhere in sight

Your excuses are getting pretty lame
The malady you suffer has a name

Pussywhipped
Your balls don't have a chance
Pussywhipped
Your girlfriend wears the pants
Pussywhipped

Your new bitch has got you on the shortest rope
Yeah yeah yeah
Now your dick gets sucked about as much as the Pope's
Holy hell

Yeah she's pretty, but no one is that fine
What you need to do is grow a spine

Pussywhipped
Your girl locked up your nuts
Pussywhipped
And now you can't bang the sluts
Pussywhipped

I was in a situation like the one you've got
Jumping through those hoops each day because the chick was hot
Well I was pussywhipped like you but now my dick is wise
You need to tell your dick to open up its fucking eyes
Open up your eyes

We're all getting so tired of this game
The sickness you've contracted has a name

Pussywhipped
Your balls don't have a chance
Pussywhipped
Your girlfriend wears the pants
Pussywhipped
You're calling it "romance"
Pussywhipped
Your whore's got you in a trance
Pussywhipped, whipped, whipped, whipped, whipped

You're whipped!

2. Party Like Tomorrow Is The End Of The World

Have sex (yeah!)
With every female of the species he say
The end is near (yeah!)
So don't you worry about the HIV
Get drunk (yeah!)
Till you puke all over the floor
We're gonna die tomorrow
So let's get hammered like never before, yeah!

The clock is runnin' down, you see
You gotta do the things you wanna do
Bone your step-sister
Climb the Matterhorn
Find some horny cougars
And shoot some cougar porn, baby

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

Make love (yeah!)
With a sheep, or cow or a goose
I know your wondering what it feels like
So take off your pants and get loose
Get crazy! (yeah!)
Rob a bank or hijack a plane
We got nothin' (yeah!)
We got nothin' to lose
So get balls out retarded insane, yeah!

Time is runnin' out you say
You gotta try the stuff you wanna try
Multijump from a 747
Poke a silverblack gorilla in the eye
Yeah!

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

The end of the world is comin'
What are we gonna do?
The end of the world is comin'
You should be comin' too!

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Tomorrow is the end of the world
Tomorrow is the end of the world

Let's all party
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
Party freakin' hardy
Like tomorrow is the end of the world

Let's all party (cum into your anus!)
Like tomorrow is the end of the world
(Hop on my doggy now!)
Party freakin' hardy (ahhh yeah!)
Like tomorrow is the end of the f'n world!
Tomorrow is the end of the world!
Hey, hey, hey!

3. Gloryhole

There's a place in France where the naked ladies dance
There's a hole in the wall where you put your cock & balls
But you never really know who's sucking on the other side
Is it a boy or a girl or a lady-man hermaphrodite

Honey, I don't wanna know
Who's sucking my dick today
I'm going to the glory hole
Gonna spend my weekly pay
Dream about Cheryl Tiegs
While a beast greases up my pole
I'm gonna blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole
The glory hole

I know a place down the street just behind Micky dees
Where the thing behind the hole really aims to please
Well a buck o' five is all you need to get a job well done
It doesn't matter if it's Tommy Lee or Attila the Hun

Baby, I don't wanna know
Who's sucking my cock tonight
I'm going to the glory hole
Gonna fuck it with all my might
In my head it's Jessica Biel
Don't care if it's a fucking troll
I'm gonna blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole

Come, give your cock a chance
No need for romance
Come soil your pants at the glory hole
Come, get what you need
Do the dirty deed
Deposit your seed at the glory hole

Fill somebody new at the glory hole
Fill someone with goo at the glory hole
No one judges you at the glory hole

I don't wanna know
Who's sucking my dick today
I'm going to the glory hole
Gonna spend my weekly pay
Dream about virgin teens
While a beast greases up my pole
I'm gonna blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole
Blow my load at the glory hole

Oh baby, here I come
Oh, oh, oh, fuck

4. Bukkake Tears

You said you wanted to open up the doors to our bedroom
You said my cock was nice but left a little too much headroom
So I called some of the boys and I set it up
How was I to know you'd regret it, oh

There was so much love on your face I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face neither the boys nor I could see the tears

I said it would turn me on to watch you get fucked by nine or ten guys
When you said you banged the football team your freshman year I was slightly surprised
But as I started letting out the dog in me, you flipped the switch and went back to monogamy

There was so much love on your face I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face neither the boys nor I could see the tears

We can't stop now it's moving too fast
There's a nine inch cock in your pussy, ten and a half in your ass
Dongs in each hand so hold on tight when we all bust a nut I'm gonna make it right tonight

There was so much love on your face
There was so much love on your face
There was so much love on your face I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face neither the boys nor I could see the tears
There was so much so much love, so much love on your face
There was so much, so much love

Sticky, gooey jizz on your face, yeah
Oh, your stupid sticky face
We're gonna give you our love

There was so much love on your face I couldn't see the tears
There was so much spunk on your face neither the boys nor I could see the tears

5. Gangbang At The Old Folks Home

Oh yeah,
Uh, sexy
Oh yeah,

Delivering pizza on a Saturday night
I was cranking Van Halen and looking tight
Ten extra sausage went to Shady Oak Drive
I'm lucky that I left there alive
It's a gangbang

The place was packed with wrinkly boobies and dicks
The youngest one there was maybe 76
The head granny grunted and she pulled out a gun
She said we'll pay you for the pizza when we're done

It's a gangbang
Gangbang at the old folks home
One foot in the grave
Two lips on my bone
Gangbang at the old folks home

The smell of Bengay was kind of making me sick
Till someone spit out some dentures and started gumming my dick
These golden girls had really been round the block
I got a rim job from one while she was knitting some socks

Gangbang at the old folks home
Senile sex slaves are making me groan
Gangbang at the old folks home

I took her doggy and I gave her a spank
That's when I think I dislodged her oxygen tank
She fell to the floor and three seconds later I was running for the defibrillator
Three silver foxes started licking my ass so I twisted my nuts to keep from cumming to fast
I had my fist in a butthole til somebody said that ain't no way to show respect for the dead

Gangbang at the old folks home
I rode a sex train with geriatric nymphos
Gangbang at the old folks home
Old folks home, yeah

6. Ten Strikes You're Out

Flip them burgers man

Strike one, I saw you winking at my friends
I'll poke your damn eye so you'll never wink again
You'll never wink again

Strike two, you touched my damn iPhone
My other bitches call and check so leave it alone
Just leave it alone

Eight more and you'd better not doubt
You'll be out on the streets so don't make me shout
Everybody knows it's ten strikes you're out, you're out
Ten strikes you're out, you're out

Strike three, you gave my dog VD
How'd you fucking go give a dog VD?
That's just beyond me
Strike four, I don't remember four
But whatever it was well you'd better not do it no more

Strike five, well you're racking up strikes
Faster than your momma getting Facebook likes,
Everybody knows it's ten strikes you're out, you're out
Ten strikes you're out, you're out

Six and Seven came as a pair
Piss and shit stains all over your underwear
Well baby you're out, you're out, you're out, hahaha

Strike eight, you made me double date
With a bald dick head and a bitch who's overweight
That made me irate
Strike nine, I understand you had gas
But you farted and another dude's sperm dribbled out of your ass
That's fucking gross

Strike ten, well you drank my last beer
So baby pack your shit and get out of here
Everybody knows it's ten fucking strikes, you're fucking out
You're out, you're out, you're out

Ten strikes you're out, yeah
You're out

7. The Burden Of Being Wonderful

Why in a world of ugly faces
should I be allowed to be so hot?
So many people without talent
yet I was born with all the magical gifts I got.

The perfect body, the perfect face
it's like God's best work all in one place
But the haters hate perfection
Can't you see?

It's a burden being wonderful like me.

How in a world that's so imperfect
did I wind up with so much cool?
Friends never stick around too long
never feel like they belong
next to me they feel like a fool.

I've got the grace of a dancer, a golden voice
people seem to hate me like I had a choice
Being this blessed is a lonely way to be.

It's a burden being wonderful like me.

Like me.

So you say you wanna hang around
Don't ever ask me to tone it down
I'm a diamond, I'm gonna shine
compared to everyone else
I'm like a whole damn diamond mine.

Oh yeah...

I'm just a Maserati in a world of Kias
'Genius' would describe any of my ideas
If I was born in 1453
Leonardo Da Vinci would be jealous of me
but a world of Stevie Wonders never see.

It's a burden being wonderful like me.

8. Fucking My Heart In The Ass

The heart is cool
It's a magnificent machine and it don't have a brain but it thinks that you're being too mean
And it don't have legs, which is sad, 'cause it can't run away when you treat it bad
And if the damn thing had a mouth I'm sure it would say,

Oh yeah,
That you gotta stop fucking
Gotta stop fucking Gotta stop fucking
Fucking my heart in the ass
Won't you please stop fucking my heart in the ass,
Oh won't you please stop fucking my heart

You can kick me as hard as you want in the left ventricle
You can bite like a bitch with your teeth on my aortic arch
But I won't even flinch not an inch
It would be a cinch when compared to the pain of the emotional boner you shoved in my heart's ass today

Oh yah
Girl you never stop fucking
Never stop fucking
Never stop fucking
Fucking my heart in the ass
Won't you please stop fucking my heart in the ass
Oh yeah,
Won't you please stop fucking my heart
Fucking my heart in the ass

Baby can't you see this is starting to look like an epic fail
My heart's ass is starting to feel like it spent a week in jail
'Cause you're fucking my heart
Fucking my heart
Fucking my heart in the ass

9. B.V.S.

Big Vagina Syndrome is becoming a common disease
Ladies that have this affliction are never easy to please
If you poke someone with B.V.S. there's not much you can do
It's like filling the Lincoln Tunnel with an Oscar Meyer wiener or two

I won't rest till I do my best
To rid the whole world of B.V.S.
Gonna do my best
To rid the whole world of motherfucking B.V.S.

B.V.S. is a bit like shooting hoops with a tennis ball
It's easy to get it in there, but it doesn't satisfy at all

Well I do my best to make 'em cum, but my cock won't do the trick
and I got a full five inches
In other words, a massive dick, yeah

I won't rest till I do my best to rid the whole world of B.V.S.
I'm gonna pass that test
Gonna rid the world of that ubiquitous B.V.S.

B.B.S. is different
That's when your tits get super fat
But most guys that I talk to say they got no problem with that, no
Sood man, Big Vagina Syndrome is not just a silly joke
It's a pandemic of massive proportions affecting every girl I poke
If a man like me can't make you cum with my massive piece of meat, chances are you got B.V.S. girl
And that's the thing that we gotta beat
Gotta beat that fuckin meat

I won't rest till I do my best to rid the whole world of B.V.S.
Whoa, ya got some kick ass breasts, but the problem is that goddamn B.V.S. B.V.S.

10. You're Beautiful When You Don't Talk

Your beauty is deeper than the sea, but you're still working on your abc's
When you're with me and you speak your mind I'm afraid of what my friends might find

Because you're beautiful when you don't talk

The kind of girl that I would stalk, but you open your mouth and you break the spell
Talking doesn't do you well
More beautiful than the rarest jewel
But when you open your mouth you're such a tool
When I ruminate on all the things you said, it's clear your parents dropped you on your head

Because you're beautiful when you don't talk

The attention span of a pet rock
When you try to connect it becomes quite clear
There's nothing in between your ears
There's nothing going on upstairs
Like headlights shining on a dear
We talked for 30 seconds, now there's nothing left to say
So it's one more Boston Pancake and I'll be on my way

You're beautiful, so beautiful and young
If only you had been born without a tongue
Please don't come out of your shell

Because you're beautiful when you don't talk
Because you're beautiful when you don't talk
But you open your mouth and you break the spell

11. If I Was The King

If I was the King
I would get myself a bitchin' crown
And I'd make all the bitches call me Sir Michael Starr
I'd have a castle and a bitchin' throne
And at night I'd go in the town
In a big stretch Hummer with a hot tub and a bar

If I was the King
I would outlaw clothes for chicks
So you could see if the shaved their pussies
Or if they were hiding dicks
I'd lower the drinking age
So little kids could get drunk too
And I'd make it a fucking crime to wear a wedding ring
If I was the King

That'd be fuckin' nice right?

I'd knock down all the schools
And put up licquor stores
And give free boobjobs to the strippers and the whores
I would outlaw common sense
Feed the homeless to the wolves
And if you didn't like Steel Panther you'd go to jail!

If I was the King
I'd make beer the official food
And you'd never have to take the trash out
If you happen to be born a dude
You could buy hand grenades at Starbucks
And take a shit right on the street
And I'd kill Katy Perry so I wouldn't have to hear her sing
If I was the King

Her comes the court jester man!

And if the motherfucking peasents didn't like it
I would tell them all to suck my dick
Suck my dick
Suck my dick

Legalize masturbation
At every strip joint in the nation
And the minimum cup size would have to be a double D
Oh yeah
But if you were in a band
You wouldn't have to use your hand
There'd be mandatory blowjobs for guys like you and me!

If I was the King
Megan Fox would be my Queen
But I'd still fuck Christie Brinkley
And any girl older than 16
I'd execute One Direction
And drop a nuke on the Middle East
But I'd take the oil first so we wouldn't have to feel the sting
If I was the King
If I was the King
If I was the King

12. She's On The Rag

Every girl in the world has feminine needs
Every day of the month a vagina bleeds
Every man has balls filled with his seed
Seeking out every hole is vagina greed

She didn't want to disappointment me
She couldn't bear to tell the truth
She didn't want to ruin the moment
She had to fuck someone in the group

Now there's blood on my hands, blood on my face
Blood on my dick, all over the place, now I know

She's on the rag

Every dude wants to fuck whenever he can
You can't blame a dude, cause a dude is a man
Any man will admit it's a little sick
When it looks like a murder scene all over his dick

I didn't see the signs a showing
Or the visit from Auntie Flo
She was on her knees and blowing
And I was 4 fingers deep in a camel toe

Now there's blood on the walls, blood on the lamp
Blood on the roadies, blood on the amps, now we know..

She's on the rag

She's on the rag but the whole band got inside
Wish we would have known she was riding the Crimson Tide
So the next time you got a chance to get inside
Make sure she ain't on the cotton pony ride
She'll soil your sheets and she'll spoil your pride
Having period on your face, ain't very dignified

Who wants blood on your cock, blood on your balls
Flowing like a bloody Niagara Falls
Runaway man..

She's on the rag

She'll get that blood on your dong, blood on your car
Blood on your brand new Fender guitar, better get it tested

She's on the rag

Better not wear white pants next time, baby