1. Seamripper (& The Blanket Statement)

Last I saw of those eyes
So young inside this hand mirror
Banished my new hope

Learning to see the other side of a child's memory
That's ripping at the seam
With relative ease I might learn to pretend
And bury the shame of raining on your dream
On your dream for me

Action-figure-sized brutality
Beside this hand mirror
Now what you saw I see this time

Learning to feel what the other might have felt
In this child's memory
Ripping at the seam
With relative ease have I learned too late
Your just reward, I disintegrate
From the darker side of me...

High above ground I already lost what I have found
One final charade I already don't understand what
we have made
I long to find what might hide right in front of me
The light reflects not what I was expecting to see

Trial for your one offense
Life-long the sentence
Denial of your one defense
That you gave up your life trying to make amends

At last I see those eyes again
So young upon this hand mirror
Free from all I know

Learning to see the other side of a child's memory
Ripping at the seam
With relative ease I might've tried another way to realize
A world without the shame and the lies so...

Unstitch me, strike clean and true
Pull the string
From the blanket of everything
Unstitch me
Clean and true
Pull the string
Dis-integrate me from you

Unstitch me
Get it started but
Without me
You can't call it everything

2. Tip-Toe The Fault Line

I have lived to see a day that some would say
Is hopelessly contrived
A machine works to feed itself
And so becomes alive...

After so long on this unholy diet
Common sense in atrophy
Your feigning disdain will change nothing...

Although I know I long for the Sun
Won't be alarmed when rain comes
My faith in blind hope my only crime
Tip-toe the fault-line one last time

Though the I long for the Sun
Won't be alarmed when rain comes
My faith in blind hope was all in vain
Painted blue skies on a window pane

Differences irreconcilable
Follow just to see where it leads
Never thought how this life would feel when you
Indulge your suicidal greed
Deaf to all who warn and plead
If I paint a blue sky for you, on your window pane
Would you feel more warm inside
How long will you hide
From the rain

So I long for the Sun
Won't be alarmed when the rain comes
My faith in blind hope my only crime
Tip-toe the fault-line one last time...

3. Ashes To Earn

Lost in a maze of my desperate reconsiderations
Not that I seem to know
And if I thought I could get out of here
Where would I go
Keeping running from truth or take a chance
Along the path of least existence...

All the lessons I learned are nullified
My soul's ashes earned tonight...

Once inside forever flow
Liquid lines as veins in stone
Blind behind a two-way glass who's observing whom
And if I thought I could I'd get out and behold my
own empty tomb

And all the lessons I learned are nullified
Blind eye I've turned until tonight

Now all the lessons I learned are nullified
My soul's ashes tonight...
And my soul, my soul is in ashes
Now I feel fine, yes I feel fine...

Blind eye turned
Ashes Earned
Now who's observing whom...

4. Shades Of Hades

There was a time before
This multitude of words and measures
The truth lies just beneath this subtle eutrophia
An elegy to be exhumed

They laugh at what I say
The ring of silence whiling the years away
I'll place my faith in whispers along the shore
of the Black Sea

Dive underwater
Life in still serenity
And frozen in time
Desire to Learn I am descending
Among the shades of Hades
I'll send a sign for you

Motherless matrix of time
Quinta Essentia
One look unto what leaves you all wanting

Dive under water
Life in still serenity
And frozen in time
Desire to Learn I am descending
A tale of warning sung by shades of Hades
Will no one follow me down

Weightless warm welcoming blues skies of long ago

Scavengers have smelled my blood
Not a fantasy anymore
Out of balance we all are turning leaves that fall...
Getting clearer now

I place my faith in whispers along the shores of the
Black Sea
(Let this lie at the bottom of your
Seek and fund only blood at the core
Let this die at the bottom of your mind)

Dive under water
Life in still serenity
And frozen in time
Desire to Learn I am descending
Amond the shades of Hades
I'll send a sign...

5. Reductio Ad Absurdum

Playing in a child's game
I never saw a meaning in the name
And all along I was the one doing the seeking
Or so I believed until your arrival...
Now realize that I only sought one place to hide
myself after another

Light is getting low, and I feel as though you gave up
You gave up looking for me

All plain to see
For anyone outside of this skin
I'm wearing thin
And I'll shed this version of me
A search for the edge, a name for that shape that
hides you
From view...

Reduction of all but none, every path has led to one
Illusory conclusion of me in my own way...

All plain to see
For anyone outside of this skin that I taught myself
to be
And I'll shed this version of me
A search for the edge, a name for the shape that
hides you
From view...
I'm learning that all I hope to be
(Can begin only when I give in)
Crawling out from where I hide
When I give in...
And the light is getting low

6. On Again / Off Again

So long I lived here alone in this heart of jade
Clutching to you
Afraid to be educated if I awake
Will it be too late

Light up and see the signs all around
A dying ember glows
Aching for you to follow

So long the weight upon you
How dignified you pray
Voice inspired by fear of nothing
Inside the stone and all alone
Now tempted to dismay

Willing to sacrifice comfort lies
As night turns into day

On Again (left outside – riding a wave)
No one knows how long it's been
Don't want to be saved from
Riding this wave ashore

One moment of rest here at the crest, then we fall...

Knowing is not enough to win
Diastole of time breathing in
To reverse again and again
A fire rekindled but dare I believe again
Trusting in you
Afraid to be devastated
Must I await what lust will recreate

Loving to hate what can never change
Hating to love what can't remain

Off Again (lost inside – riding a wave)
No one knows what might have been
Don't want to be saved from
Riding this wave ashore

Dance until we exhaust
Life unlived and lost

7. Lotus

No one untouched by it, in filth we thrive
Darkness sublimated, from this we all derive
Alluvium rising higher, hiding the way to my desire
Mysteriously – Falling away or flying free...

Each one of us keeps fighting not to be broken broken down,
until we realize
For one instant my love and my anguish fertilize

Levity mysteriously
Washes over me
Climbing up out the water
Am I flying high, or falling away like a moment of clarity

Lotus transcending out of the mire – Pure...

And when I open my eyes all that's there to see
Relies on every step I took while blind
Impossible desire to embrace the child
That fills the void you left behind

Alluvium keeps rising higher
For one instant my essence is one with the sky

Levity mysteriously
Washes over me
Climbing up out the water
Am I flying high, or falling away like a moment of clarity
Mysteriously dancing too slow to see
Cool fire washing over me
And now I'm flying high...

Long enough just to say
Long enough just to play through this melody of senses
And the shadow inside this hollow disguise
(Water, Earth, Air, Fire combine, fertilize your shadow
with light)
Will radiate when all elements arise
As one...

8. Pareidolized (The Ocean In The Shell)

Must not be easy for you
I'm trying so hard to get inside your trusting mind
Tired eyes adapt to read the symmetry
Of empty spaces outlined

Follow the sound of a whispering that's all around
Subliminal designs abound

You worked so hard to climb this far
Will you remember who you are
Trade one burden for another

Lie Awake
I'm burning inside – Pareidolized
A tidal swell deep within the shell
A call that won't abate

Gone a minute or a day, I can't tell
And I thought I knew you so well
I'm lost for words you've lost your way
Gone a minute or a day
As we were walking hand in hand along the sand
I stumbled and you fell
Now I don't understand

Lie Awake
I'm burning inside – Pareidolized
A tidal swell deep within the shell
Calling out to my island made of preconception
Outlined by a need to believe
And though it seemed to insulate
Drown in the wave of sound that awaits

As I try in vain
Desperately striving not to strain
Desire not to feel desire
Adding more fuel to the fire
Yet unaware there's nothing there to gain
Crawling, unrelenting like ivy
Dawn of a new melody
A thundering silence overwhelms this spell
That sirens have cast over me

Crawling like ivy fog is rolling in
From all directions it's calling

(...a path is opening...)

Lie Awake
I'm burning inside – Pareidolized
A tidal swell deep within the shell
Calling out to my island made of preconception
Outlined by a need to believe
And though it seemed to insulate
Drown in the wave of sound that's awaiting now

And when I learn the things I know
Won't it be quite a show...quite a show

9. Parasol

No more than a cardboard stage
No struggle for an answer
A line for you to sell
And no matter what may change
Treat your questions like a cancer and
In time you'll hide your burden well
Make me believe it's not make-believe
Incentive to justify all of this longing inside
My parasol
Shield from the falling
Sky that I envision is nigh

Standing by the water's edge
And weighing all my options
To leave behind what has brought me ashore
Trying in vain to hedge
Whispering a word of caution
The raft is swept to sea forever more...

(Make me believe it's not make-believe incentive to justify all of this longing inside...)

...And you're still there, tearfully I wave farewell
Our paths divide, no use to hide our despair

(Hallucinated protection, Natural Parasol, save us all from despair)

10. Wave The Banner

A heart and mind embattled
Now follow the standard that I bear
Dare to be reconciled

We summoned all our forces
To synchronize my demise with that of fear
Crack the illusion with a smile

Wave the banner call to arms
All your foolish pride
Wave the banner start the war
All you have denied

11. Fish Afraid Of Drowning

The vessel and the void never separate
Each time I subdivide
Wanting to see beyond the new surface
That I create

Upside-down
Like fish afraid we'll drown
So desperate to escape
The meaning of this warm embrace

Like ashes in the urn as the tables turn
On this pin-hole point of view
Outside the line
No less a part of you

Upside-down like fish afraid we'll drown
So desperate to escape
The meaning of this warm embrace

12. Moebius Knot

(инструментал)

13. Full Circle

The human part of nature
To eliminate any chance for the unknown
What is a certain future but a life already dead and gone
A bird that's flown

Coming full circle on this ride
How many times around you decide

A diabolic humor self-fulfilling surreality
A space I'm standing under
Now in my hand I hold a Klein Bottle
Surrounding eternity...so far from empty in here

Coming full circle on this ride
How many times around you decide

Emanated
Regulated
Consummated fear you wed

Let something yet be left behind
Of this baggage you cannot hide

14. Let It Wash Away (The Lotus Effect)

Out of the water white blossom
Darkness assails from every side
No one can stay afraid for all time
Let it wash away...
All of the lessons
All of the force-feeding
All the hunger unsatisfied
All of the rushing
All of the misleading
All stemming from where I hide
Breaking the tension
Nothing more impeding...

Rising high this throne self-cleaning
Light has shone brightly
Magnify and...

Notice the Lotus Effect

Rise up from the muddy water
Don't be afraid
You're coming around the last corner
Of this path you made

Ask yourself what course you charted – smooth or rough terrain

This method just a finger pointing – counting time

You'll turn your head in your own time
To see it shine
With no start or end
Arrive where I've always been