1. One Last Smoke

Every breath I breath is filled with pain-
-The Devil's gain
Caught in anageing dying shell

I am confined in this rattling coughing cadaver
Waiting for an end to leave this – breating Hell

Close your eyes and weep
Tar you sowed, death you reap
All this wealth, useless in your missery
You know the grane only takes one currency

Diagnosis clear, it's terminal, the end of all
My lungs destroyed beyond repair
I should be crying but what good are tears-
-Against these fears
This burden is for me and me alone to bear

What forgiveness can I possibly receive
They've been gone so long I've forgotten-
– How to grieve
No one left to soothe my guilt riedden bones
I'll have to walk this final road... Alone

One last smoke
One final cigarette

2. In The Silent Grave

Morning light bleeds into my room
As I ponder my impending doom
I almost long to be interred
My shameful tale will go unheard
In the silent grave

After all we are nothing
But a speck in death's design
Breathing, choking, what's the use in trying
To hang on to this farce called life

Graveyard skies and flesh that died
Soon I'll take my place alongside
The guilty soul that dwell down here
End my sorrow, bury my fear
In the silent grave

What's the use in lingering
Just like the memories of the dead
Haunting, cursing, my entire being
Won't someone lift my useless body-
– from this God Damn Bed

You won't find peace among the worms,
...in the silent grave
No salvation in this dirt
...in the silent grave

3. Origins Of Mourning

And thus the crawling begins
Upon a road of gravel and blood
I see your face... as you're dying
And thus the suffering begins
Down the corridor of regret
I feel you lifeless shape cradled in my arms

And thus the bleeding begins
Along a trail of memories
I hear her voice... it breaks-
– As she's crying
And thus the mourning begins
Inside these walls of apathy
I never knew how to ease her sorrow

How did you ever find the key?
Why did you open the cabinet?
The shining piece of deadly steel
So heavy in your tiny hands

The shot that tore the night in two
The blood that stained the carpet
The bag they put your body in
I wish they'd sealed my instead

Roses on a coffin... As you slowly sink-
– Into the earth
Mourners softly sobbing... I can't even cry-
– I'm numb with hurt
We never stood a chance... our bond-
– so fragile
Where could we go from here... No where

And so I fled, into another world
A world inside my mind, not to be reached
Completed denial, this never happened
I had to shut her out to save-
– the last bits of my sanity

And so she fled, into another life
A life without me, without this grief
Complete estrangement, I let it happen
She had to get away, or torn to stone –
– just like me

4. Weep For Me

Bloodshot eyes awakend from an easy slumber
Limbs all white and stiff slowly coming to life
Sheets are drenched in sweat from nightly terrors
Joylessly a new dawn is welcomed
The day is wasted on rituals whithout meaning
As night descends the dreams return-
-... To fill my bed again

Blood shot eyes awaken from a restless slumber
Skin is white and cold, heart barely beats
Escaping slowly from drowsy realms of horror
Reluctant to awake yet terrified to sleep

Weep for me
Weep for what I have done
Cry like the cryers of ancient times

Weep for me
Weep for what I have done
There's no hope in hell it can ever-
– be undone

Going trought the motions
Keeping the madness at day
Blocking all emotions
For fear thel'll wash my soul away

Behind me the past comes clawing trough
The veils of guilt and suppression I drapped-
– Around you

My memory is obscured by clouds of time
I ask myself a painfull question, woud I still-
– recognize... my son

Running from what's comming
At least in my dreams I can run
Hiding from the blackness
That engulfs my room, my bed, my lungs

Behind my the past comes clawing trough
The years of grief and depression I sufferd – for you
My memory, little pieces still remain
I make myself a painfull promise-
– To visit your grave – My son...

5. Atonement

I kneel in the damp soil
Your stone's so cold
I long to hear your voice
Can't remember

My hands fold as in payer
Why in hell am I here?
No forgiveness for an old fool
Least of all from you

Speak to me in my head
Speak to me from the dead
Forgive me for what I've done wrong
I've lived with this burden of grief-
-for far too long

How long have I been sitting here?
My knees are stiff and it's dark and cold
Was that really your voice or just my brain
Playing tricks on me?
The words echo in the raven's scream

... Not me... It's not me... wrong place, wrong time
... She wait's... It's her... you need to find

Never seen this house before
A withered wreath on the door
I know who's inside
You showed me...

Her eyes fill with tears
I try to speak... no air
My lungs burn in my chest
As I wheeze my last request

Speak to my, before I'm dead
Know that I never meant to make you sad
The years that we wasted won't return
But please grant me peace-
– though I know I deserve to burn

6. Longing For Oblivion

I think I've made my peace
Said my last goodbyes
It's time to lay down and die
Nurse sits and reads
My lungs breathe no more
I'm at the mercy of life support

Feel your presence here
hands around my wrist
As I succumb to sweet
– drug induced bliss

How I long for oblivion
Sister morphine, take me in your care
You remind me of someone I used to love
Before the tears and the years took her away

It's out of my hands
The drugs are taking over
As I drift from consciouness

To die and fade away
Never known another day
Leave this vessel cold and frail

A blood red sun is rising now
On my final morning
I embrace what's coming